Don Cheadle Whispers Bobby Hemmitt Into Ayo Edebiri’s Ear On Some Gloria Foster In The Matrix Type Shit
NEW YORK, NY— This past Tuesday, after a performance of Proof, actor Don Cheadle reportedly whispered into co-star Ayo Edebiri’s ear a passage of esoteric, gnostic knowledge aimed at increasing her social/cultural consciousness, liberating her from oppressive systems internal and external, and “putting to sleep the clone currently abound.” When asked for further elaboration on what he meant by that, Cheadle just started laughing, and replied, “Asé, my brother. Asé.” The reporter who asked him that question, though, was, in fact, not “a brother,” but a White woman. When she told him this, he told her to “read The Island of Dr. Moreau.” To this, she replied that she had, actually, read that novel, but didn’t see how that provided any further clarity to how she was “a brother.” To this, he replied, “Exactly, my brother. Exactly.”
In the days since, Edebiri has seemingly changed both her name (or, stage name, at least) and occupation. As of today, the only social media presence of hers publicly findable is a SoundCloud account under the name “Haile Ala$e”. May God bless her hustle.